Welcome To The Inside Of My Head!!

I just want to thank you for taking out the time to read my thoughts.

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Saturday, July 11, 2015

Food for thought

Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone you grow apart. If the woman loves the man more than he loves her it'll never work. If the man loves the woman more he will prove his love everyday until the day he dies. If the woman loves the man more he will use that to his advantage by using the woman and taking all he can until someone else catches his eye. Ladies when you find yourself in a situation where you are doing more for than man ....RUN! People grow apart when one person in the relationship doesn't feel appreciated. The woman should never be the man in a relationship because if you are,  you're better off single. Just food for thought.

The Gift!

Someone special gave me an amazing gift last night. It came at the most perfect time. It was like I needed it.  Providing and carrying for twin boys solo is quite the task. At times, I feel like I'm going to lose my cool. Most of the time I feel like I am a horrible mother because all of this is new to me. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I feel like I don't know how to raise children, let alone without the help of their father. It's hard working full time and being a full time mother. Lately life has been stressful. I'm working to barely make ends meet. I always put my children's needs before mines. So if certain bills don't get paid so my children can eat and have diapers to poop and pee in then so be it. If I have to go to work in socks with holes in them and raggedy shoes so they can have fresh socks and comfy shoes then so be it. Sometimes I get angry with my children's father, I feel like he put me in this situation and just left me. He works he could call sometimes to see if his children needs something from time to time but he doesn't.  He feels like his children don't need his $ but his time. That statement would be true for someone that is unemployed but you are working. Here I am struggling with our children but he has went through two cars just this year. He currently has a new one. He has time to court other women and now claims to be in love with a woman. A woman he met on a single parents dating site. The irony in that! He gets to live his life like he has no children and can pretend to be daddy at his own convenience. While my job as a mommy is 24/7. While at work yesterday I checked my bank account and saw that I have $100 to last me until next saturday. I just broke down crying because I knew that I couldn't use it to pay bills because we are running out of food. I wiped my tears away and went back to work. Needless to say that my work day was long and depressing but I kept a smile on my face. My new boo picked me up from work and had a gift for me. He told me that he appreciates me and loves me for being such an amazing mother. He told me that he sees all of the sacrifices I make for my children. I go without so they can have what they need. He told me that this symbolizes my children and his love for me.  When I have a bad day at work or I'm stressed because my funds are low look at that ring and know that I am doing this for the love of my children. I broke down in tears. It's nice to know that someone genuinely cares about you and wants the best for you.  I am thankful to have this man in my life. He sees the good in me when I don't.  He helps me when I have nothing. Remember no matter what you're going through to count your blessings. Don't let what others fail to do affect you.  Things fall into place eventually.

Sorry I've Been Missing

Sometimes life moves forward so fast that you don't have time for the things you use to make time for. Sorry I neglected my small fan base. I appreciate those of you that do take the time out to read my thoughts. I am back! I am going to make it a habit to at least post something once a week or maybe everyday before bed.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

The reason I breathe

Never thought I'd be a mother
Never thought I could love another
I was blessed with two
My boys cheer me up when I feel like I can't make it through
The stresses of life and the world takes over me
When I look by my side these two beautiful boys is all I see

Sorry

Sorry to myself
For losing myself

Writing has always been my first love!! I got so caught up with my day job, my family, my friends and life….. I lost what made me -ME!! Sometimes it takes someone outside of your circle to tell you something you already know. You need that reassurance!! I have to make it a habit to at least write something once a day. Instead of sitting back and feeling defeat I'm going to do something I should have done a long time ago. I'm going to focus on what makes me happy.  WRITING!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2013

For Those Of You that Like Urban Fiction

I started a whole new blog specifically for my urban fiction writing. Please check it out and leave tons of feedback!! http://urbanfictionbydorianshelton.blogspot.com

Thought I Had It All Figured Out (Random Thoughts In My Head At The Moment)

This thing called life we live

It's constantly moving

Time is passing us by

You thought you had it all figured out

Then life smacks you down right when everything seems perfect

What am I to do?

Should I give up and cry defeat?

I feel so alone so weak

Never had to go through anything like this

Is it because I turned my back on GOD?

I forgot to seek him because everything was perfect

I turned my back on GOD when my father committed suicide years ago

I never looked back

Is this my punishment???

Why must my future children suffer because I stopped seeking you?

If I seek you will you forgive me???

You gave me two blessings that are growing inside me.

Why are you letting the devil take over my life?

I see now ...I stopped seeking you

Leaving room for the devil to get in.