Welcome To The Inside Of My Head!!

I just want to thank you for taking out the time to read my thoughts.

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Sunday, September 11, 2016

#PositivityChallenge #Day4

Day 4 of positivity: I had such an amazing day!! Went to church. Ironically the pastor talked about exactly what I was going through. How the devil uses those close to you to try to break your spirit but the attempt failed!! I got to spend  the day with my amazing family!! We went to a bbq, saw an amazing live band and spent an hour at the park. The twins are fast asleep now and I'm having movie night with my mom! I also got some amazing news!! My best friend Jon is coming in town and it's during my vacation!! In spite of events that happened this week so much good has happened. I am truly happy and blessed! #PositivityChallenge enjoying everyday  and every moment of my life. I'm making the habit of finding the good in any and everything.

#PositivityChallenge #Day3

Day 3 of positivity: The twins are amazing!! I love them so much! Being a parent is the scariest thing I've ever done. It's also the most responsible thing I've ever done. This morning the boys woke up and did what I do first thing. They pulled their pull ups down and peed. I am amazed by some of the things they do and say nowadays. Talib saw me dressed in my uniform. He said, "Mom, you're going to work?" I said, "Yea." He then says, "I want to go to work." That made my day. Had a great day at work. I kept a positive attitude and stayed true to myself. I didn't let any negative energy get to me. I also found someone to work a few days for me so I can attend a party. #PositivityChallenge your attitude will always affect how your day turns out.

Friday, September 9, 2016

#PositivityChallenge #Day2

Day 2 of positivity: My morning started off great!! My fiancée came over to see the twins off to school. He did flash cards with the boys. Tahir really surprised me, he knew everything and participated a lot. He is normally quiet. I am so happy that school is helping him!! Talib was his usual stubborn self. Lol He only interacted  when he wanted to and started knocking cards out of Jon's hand. My kindred spirit friend, Connie, from San Diego messaged me today! Sent me some words of encouragement right when I needed it!!  When you are happy and trying to keep a positive attitude people try to mess with you.  Isn't that crazy?? The attempts failed and I honestly had a great day at work. Sometimes having negative people around you makes you that way. I'm going to continue eating healthy and working on myself each day. #PositivityChallenge only dwell on the good, stay away from the bad!! 

Thursday, September 8, 2016

#PositivityChallenge #Day1

Day 1 of positivity: I have never been a morning person but I take joy in seeing how excited my kids are when it's time for school. Although I'm tired, I make sure I see them off every morning. There is nothing like unconditional love. I can't believe I have two amazing little boys that love me. Being a mother is hard. In the beginning I felt like giving up. I was depressed because my relationship with their father didnt work out but BEHOLD we are doing great without him!! We make the habit of giving more attention to the negative instead of focusing on the positive. This is why I am starting the #PositivityChallenge!! Took joy in the little things in life like walking your children to the bus in the morning or making someone smile because you were nice to them. Life is too short to be angry and bitter all the time! When things get hard SMILE!! Find something good in every situation. Goodnight! Be blessed! I am thankful for all that I have and all that will come!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2016


When you loved someone unconditionally and trusted them 100% but find out that they lied to you, why do they always expect you to forgive them? What makes them think that you will ever fully trust them again? Why do they always expect the relationship to go back to what is was like nothing happen?? Why are you the bad guy when you don't want to deal with the person anymore?  Why do they always play the victim?? 

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Groundhog Day

As I head to work via UBER, I think about my life.  I feel like I'm stuck in the movie Groundhog Day. Stuck doing the same bullshit I did yesterday.  Working a bullshit job alongside of assholes while providing a service for fuck head consumers. My job keeps people safe and I rarely get a thank you.  When I took the job I felt honored because I was making a difference in the world. Being verbally abused for eleven years while serving the public has taken its toll on me. I find myself falling into depression. Faking a smile and biting my tongue throughout the day. I can't cut the depression off either.  It tends to follow me home and on my off days. I know ...I know...why do I continue to work there?! For one,  it pays great considering that I'm a Columbia College Chicago dropout. For two, I'm a single mother.  I have twin boys to provide for so....I can't up and quit for peace of mind like I'd love to.  For three, I've been applying for jobs but no one is biting at my resume. That's what happens when you work at the same job for eleven years and have no other "real" experience. With that being said, I love the movie Groundhog Day. I have to do what he did and start making tiny changes everyday.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Look in the mirror
What do you see?
I see a stranger looking back at me.
I see sorrow
I see shoulders weighed down by the world
I see a tiny twinkle of hope left in the eyes
I see innocence
I see love
I see beautiful brow skin
I see strength
I see a strong black woman living in a world full of hate overcoming every obstacle thrown her way. 

(c) Dorian Shelton