Someone special gave me an amazing gift last night. It came at the most perfect time. It was like I needed it. Providing and carrying for twin boys solo is quite the task. At times, I feel like I'm going to lose my cool. Most of the time I feel like I am a horrible mother because all of this is new to me. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I feel like I don't know how to raise children, let alone without the help of their father. It's hard working full time and being a full time mother. Lately life has been stressful. I'm working to barely make ends meet. I always put my children's needs before mines. So if certain bills don't get paid so my children can eat and have diapers to poop and pee in then so be it. If I have to go to work in socks with holes in them and raggedy shoes so they can have fresh socks and comfy shoes then so be it. Sometimes I get angry with my children's father, I feel like he put me in this situation and just left me. He works he could call sometimes to see if his children needs something from time to time but he doesn't. He feels like his children don't need his $ but his time. That statement would be true for someone that is unemployed but you are working. Here I am struggling with our children but he has went through two cars just this year. He currently has a new one. He has time to court other women and now claims to be in love with a woman. A woman he met on a single parents dating site. The irony in that! He gets to live his life like he has no children and can pretend to be daddy at his own convenience. While my job as a mommy is 24/7. While at work yesterday I checked my bank account and saw that I have $100 to last me until next saturday. I just broke down crying because I knew that I couldn't use it to pay bills because we are running out of food. I wiped my tears away and went back to work. Needless to say that my work day was long and depressing but I kept a smile on my face. My new boo picked me up from work and had a gift for me. He told me that he appreciates me and loves me for being such an amazing mother. He told me that he sees all of the sacrifices I make for my children. I go without so they can have what they need. He told me that this symbolizes my children and his love for me. When I have a bad day at work or I'm stressed because my funds are low look at that ring and know that I am doing this for the love of my children. I broke down in tears. It's nice to know that someone genuinely cares about you and wants the best for you. I am thankful to have this man in my life. He sees the good in me when I don't. He helps me when I have nothing. Remember no matter what you're going through to count your blessings. Don't let what others fail to do affect you. Things fall into place eventually.
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